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12/17/04 03:02 am - i am dumb

so, ever pulled through a red light by accident because you thought it was turning green, and then it didn't because opposing traffic got a left turn arrow?

ever done it after coming to a complete stop at the red light even though no one was coming from any direction and it was 2:30 am?

ever had a cop witness this and hand you a $114 ticket for it?

if so then you are probably nick minichino.

here's the trouble: when i am driving late at night, i get negligent about checking the rearview mirror. i still check it but not as regularly as i ought to. i usually notice headlights and such. but the cop came out of nowhere. like, i was pulling into the bridgeport flyer diner parking lot 50 feet up from the light, and i noticed flashing lights following me in. so i parked and he ticketed me. but that made me think, maybe he was like right behind me, and i just looked like a huge tool. now i don't think that's the case. but fuck, if it was then i am super dumb.

the moral of this story is, even if you really want to see your friend bob and so you're cruising diner parking lots to see if he's there, and even if you've hit two diners and are on your last one, don't stop paying attention to the rearview or break any driving laws. because you could have no luck like me, and then regret it.

other notes on the incident:

1) i want to challenge the fine in the hopes that bureacracy will unintentionally win the day for me. but i feel kinda dirty doing it because i obviously ran the light.

2) i am actually really proud of myself. because this reminds me of another time i got pulled over two years ago on rte 34. some of you may know that story. anyway, i was really snivelly and squirmed my way out of a ticket that i deserved for reckless driving. i got off with a warning. in this case i deserved it and i didn't pull any of that shit with the cop. i mean, i was respectful, but i didn't make myself a pity case. it's this pride that makes me just want to pay it.

3) i am so fucking dumb. dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

12/16/04 02:44 am

http://keaner.net/freaks/freaks.html

P.S. Kara send me this song (nevermind)

12/16/04 01:13 am

I was thinking of a bunch of things in the car but by the time I got home all I could remember was that between exits 11 and 12 on route 8 a bunch of smells in my car coalesced to make it smell like an eggnog steamer.

Hey, don't ask me. My jacket smells like CNC, but not like that.

12/12/04 03:23 pm - update

MOLESKINE FOUND. SKETCHPAD AND SANITY STILL MIA. LO MEIN IS TASTY.

12/6/04 09:34 pm - party time

so:

When viv7mgte noted that she had finished reading SiP Vols 1, 2, and 3:1-5 I realized I still don't own issues 3:6 or 3:8. So of course I'm going to b&n tomorrow morning to special order the TPB of 6-12 so I can get it cheap.

Also: tonight I am resizing the Nintendo shirt. I'm going to try a resize of one of Dave Winchell's old shirts that he gave me (to experiment on) first, then go for one I actually wear.

I'm a bit daunted because I don't want to fuck up, but I figure the Nintendo one is the one I like least (the others are the threadless and the girls' leapfrogging) and it's also the one I actually have matching thread for.

That plus cleaning my room plus the screenprint I didn't do because I overslept this morning should make it a night for me.

12/1/04 07:09 am

On the other hand, if I had won, I probably would have had a false sense of happiness because really I would have cheated to win. And maybe that would have been worse.

Or again, maybe I'm just trying to justify it all.

If I decide to finish this off, it will be later tonight. NaNo is over, whether I like it or not, and now I have to focus on the other important things in my life. Like my job. For which I plan to be at least slightly rested and at least slightly early.

Good night. Congratulations to the real winners on my list.

12/1/04 07:04 am

44843

and the validator has closed

5157 words left before I'll let myself sleep. It's just for me now.

And I wanted to be a winner so badly...

but apparently not badly enough to break old habits quite enough nor quickly enough.

Oh well. Life goes on. And that's what the half an hour a day is for. Beating old, bad habits.

In light of some of my less than stellar performances at Yale, I'd say that almost hitting 45K is an achievement of which I should be proud. I'd say that I'm on the right track to breaking old habits.

Only, I am too [fair to/hard on] myself. Not really sure which.

Well, there's this, and then a nap, and then CNC at 11. Hope everyone else's day is starting a little better.

11/27/04 10:09 pm

I sound so whiny to myself lately. I guess the lesson "life isn't easy" is just having trouble sinking in.

I am pathetic. But now off to be productive.

11/27/04 10:05 pm

It has also occurred to me that I was never able to relax on college breaks in the past because I was so behind on work and pretended like I was going to throw my whole break at the problem.

11/27/04 09:55 pm - Feeling blue--random thoughts

But I suppose there's nothing new about that.

By all rights I should be happy. I'm driving again; I have two jobs (yes, I did just get a job at B*&N Westport to supplement CNC...I feel like I should be saying "woo go me!" but I'm really saying, "eh. i could have tried harder.") and thus the money is (slowly but steadily) rolling in; I am making progress on my NaNo and actually believe I will finish. And somehow I have Tuesday off without asking. So in case I slip up and fall off my current schedule, I still have a buffer...that I hopefully won't need.

Work at 6am tomorrow means I have to cut down on this evening's activities which would have otherwise included lots of unpacking, rearranging, and cleaning in my room, and lots of NaNoing. I suppose I shall have to do a little of all of these and be happy with that for now.

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I hereby vow that December 1st I will do a test screen printing on fabric. Because I need that time for NaNo now but I've put it off for too long.

Until then, I will be working like a madman, NaNoing like an even crazier madman, and for some reason still being fairly moody.

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It's funny how you notice bad moods a lot more when you stop faking good ones all the time.

Wow. I'm going to read this LJ in a few years and be so embarrassed by the angst.

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I miss Viv.
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